Maria Shriver writes and speaks about living your own life and writing your own story. When I hear Michelle Obama share her goals for Barack’s term in the White House – such as creating an “Obama China pattern” – I wonder what Maria Shriver’s advice for her would be! After all, Shriver is a successful woman, journalist, book author, and mother…and she gave up her career to be a “politician’s wife.”

Here’s what Shriver says about living up to other people’s expectations:

“As long as I was trying to anticipate what people wanted from me, as long as I was trying to fulfill other people’s expectations, I was in a losing game,” said Shriver, author of Just Who Will You Be?: Big Question. Little Book. “That’s what I want to focus on…letting go of other people’s expectations of you so you can own your own life, write your own story and live your own legacy.” (From her speech in ’07 at the Annual Woman’s Conference in California) 

Maria Shriver gave up her career as a highly respected journalist to support Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor; she’s honest about how she lost herself in that role. If Shriver gave Michelle Obama advice, what would she say? 

How Michelle Obama and Maria Shriver Are Alike

Before Barack hit the campaign trail, Michelle Obama earned $300,000 as a lawyer and hospital executive. She was a successful career woman – just like Shriver was.

And, she’s giving up her career to support her husband…just like Shriver did.

After Schwarzenegger was elected, Maria Shriver was totally caught up in other people’s expectations: her family’s, her husband’s, and the state of California’s. The only expectations she didn’t fulfill were her own. Shriver lost herself and – like many women – had to re-learn who she was and what she really wanted. Writing the book Just Who Will You Be? was part of her journey back to herself.

Is Michelle Obama losing herself? She says she doesn’t miss her independent career. “I have very full days,” she says. “When we’re done, I can structure a more formal career if that’s where I choose to go.” (People Magazine, March 9, ’09).

Maria Shriver’s Advice to Michelle Obama

I think Shriver would tell Michelle Obama not to focus on creating new China patterns or mixing current dishes for White House dinners – and aim for higher commendations than being “imaginative” in picking out dishes for dinner! Shriver would encourage Michelle to be authentic, honest with herself and others, and let go of other people’s expectations.

Maria Shriver would encourage Michelle Obama to make a pledge to herself. Shriver’s own pledge is, “I pledge to show up in life as myself, not as an imitation of anyone else.” 

It’s hard for me to believe that a smart, educated, sophisticated woman like Michelle Obama could be satisfied with something less than her intellectually challenging career. Shriver regretted losing herself in the role of politician’s wife…and I keep wondering if Michelle Obama is doing the same thing!

What do you think Shriver’s advice to Michelle Obama would be?

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