Comments on: How Do You Leave a Mentally Abusive Relationship? – Elizabeth Gilbert http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/ Life Lessons Inspired by Quotations From Successful Women Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:25:57 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-2/#comment-2175 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 12 Mar 2010 17:22:07 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-2175 Georgina, Thanks for taking the time to comment; I'm so glad you were here! :-) Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..<a href="http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/4-ways-to-reconnect-with-who-you-were-shirley-valentine/" rel="nofollow">4 Ways to Reconnect With Who You Were – Shirley Valentine</a> =-. Georgina,

Thanks for taking the time to comment; I’m so glad you were here! :-)

Laurie
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]]> By: Georgina A http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-2/#comment-2143 Georgina A Fri, 05 Mar 2010 23:33:11 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-2143 This really blew my mind, what else can I say except keep doing what you are doing. I am thankful for finding this website, it rocks! This really blew my mind, what else can I say except keep doing what you are doing.

I am thankful for finding this website, it rocks!

]]> By: elle shepherd http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-2/#comment-1981 elle shepherd Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:41:31 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1981 What a beautiful way to put things into perspective. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts & experience with me. I'll let you know how things pan out! What a beautiful way to put things into perspective. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts & experience with me. I’ll let you know how things pan out!

]]> By: Brian http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-2/#comment-1979 Brian Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:42:47 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1979 Hello, I think that there is even another way to look at it. I read one of the threads and a woman said that she thought that it was her words that caused the trigger. I would have to agree that she may have an underlying issue; he definitely has a problem that is warranting the break up. But the point being they love each other. And the best solution to an issue like this is finding help. The separation is most likely must in order to begin the healing process, it will be painful but in order to find one’s self if they choose to accept it, the couple will grow and live a happier life. This does not mean that they have to forget but both work toward a common goal separately for one’s self. The problem with America today are people that think that it is ok and promote the disintegration of love that two people share. Once a person practices disintegration it becomes natural, it spreads, and soon it’s okay to do these things. Sexually transmitted disease is spread because of the idea that it is okay to have many partners. Once two human beings choose to be together, they are making a conscious choice and in it for learning something about themselves. If they choose to leave the situation they never learned what it is they needed to learn, thus not being whole. Two people should always be striving to have togetherness, friendship, love, commitment, helping, sharing, and putting the required energy in. The abuser in any situation obviously has an underlying issue but wishes things were different and does not know any other way to react. This person has only one way of thinking, “to snap”. The "triggerer" only knows one way to cause the trigger and may not even know it or that they are even doing anything wrong and worst yet it may not even be wrong it could be perfectly ok to you and I but it is truly triggering to the abuser. To find these things and address them properly is the solution. If the way to think is to end it and end all and disintegrate, we have learned nothing. The abuser could use this as a reinforcement to continue with no realization that it was their fault and most likely bring this to the next relationship. SNAP! What was gained in the world as a whole? Selfish thinking is the American way. It’s not always all about you, if that was the case why do Americans send aid, give to the less fortunate, help the sick, have education. The whole issue is to learn to love. I am in the same situation and have been abusive, and really did not even realize it. But I now understand and wish to spread the word about making the connections between everyone on earth and how we can all be together and love each other and live in harmony. Brian Love Defender Hello,
I think that there is even another way to look at it. I read one of the threads and a woman said that she thought that it was her words that caused the trigger. I would have to agree that she may have an underlying issue; he definitely has a problem that is warranting the break up. But the point being they love each other. And the best solution to an issue like this is finding help. The separation is most likely must in order to begin the healing process, it will be painful but in order to find one’s self if they choose to accept it, the couple will grow and live a happier life. This does not mean that they have to forget but both work toward a common goal separately for one’s self. The problem with America today are people that think that it is ok and promote the disintegration of love that two people share. Once a person practices disintegration it becomes natural, it spreads, and soon it’s okay to do these things. Sexually transmitted disease is spread because of the idea that it is okay to have many partners. Once two human beings choose to be together, they are making a conscious choice and in it for learning something about themselves. If they choose to leave the situation they never learned what it is they needed to learn, thus not being whole. Two people should always be striving to have togetherness, friendship, love, commitment, helping, sharing, and putting the required energy in. The abuser in any situation obviously has an underlying issue but wishes things were different and does not know any other way to react. This person has only one way of thinking, “to snap”. The “triggerer” only knows one way to cause the trigger and may not even know it or that they are even doing anything wrong and worst yet it may not even be wrong it could be perfectly ok to you and I but it is truly triggering to the abuser. To find these things and address them properly is the solution. If the way to think is to end it and end all and disintegrate, we have learned nothing. The abuser could use this as a reinforcement to continue with no realization that it was their fault and most likely bring this to the next relationship. SNAP! What was gained in the world as a whole? Selfish thinking is the American way. It’s not always all about you, if that was the case why do Americans send aid, give to the less fortunate, help the sick, have education. The whole issue is to learn to love. I am in the same situation and have been abusive, and really did not even realize it. But I now understand and wish to spread the word about making the connections between everyone on earth and how we can all be together and love each other and live in harmony.
Brian
Love Defender

]]> By: elle shepherd http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-2/#comment-1974 elle shepherd Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:48:58 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1974 I think what my father was actually refering to when he made that horrible comment, "do you know why women get hit? because they deserve it", was that the abuser "thinks" that the woman deserves it, but really that off-handed comment stuck with me in a way it wasn't intended. About 9 months ago I ended up calling a friend after a terrifying beating....he choked me, punched me & told me he was going to kill me....& my 4 sweetest girlfriends gathered around me & we called the police & had him charged. His charges would be stayed if he took a bunch of classes on anger management & domestic violence, etc. & we ended up working through our problems...ummm......maybe it's fairer to say I let him schmooze his way back into my life, but the other night it happened again & now I feel I can't return to these friends to tell them it happened again. I'm ashamed of myself for staying with him...I let myself down....& truthfully I am not doing him any favors either. I have always said that our relationship on a daily basis is 90% amazing & 10 % terrifying. He is not emotionally abusive, but he has triggers that make him snap & he becomes absolutely crazy. I know these triggers & have pulled them. This makes me feel that I am the one controlling & I am the one that is wrong here. Yes, he hits me, but he wouldn't if I would just back off at these hot points & give him space for a time-out to chill. How many women out there think they are the ones that push those buttons with their mouths & in turn get shut up with a fist?? Who is wrong here? Basically I know I need to remove myself from this relationship but somehow can't. This where I think it's an addiction or obsession problem. Or am I just chasing my tail here trying to justify or explain away stuff?? I think what my father was actually refering to when he made that horrible comment, “do you know why women get hit? because they deserve it”, was that the abuser “thinks” that the woman deserves it, but really that off-handed comment stuck with me in a way it wasn’t intended. About 9 months ago I ended up calling a friend after a terrifying beating….he choked me, punched me & told me he was going to kill me….& my 4 sweetest girlfriends gathered around me & we called the police & had him charged. His charges would be stayed if he took a bunch of classes on anger management & domestic violence, etc. & we ended up working through our problems…ummm……maybe it’s fairer to say I let him schmooze his way back into my life, but the other night it happened again & now I feel I can’t return to these friends to tell them it happened again. I’m ashamed of myself for staying with him…I let myself down….& truthfully I am not doing him any favors either. I have always said that our relationship on a daily basis is 90% amazing & 10 % terrifying. He is not emotionally abusive, but he has triggers that make him snap & he becomes absolutely crazy. I know these triggers & have pulled them. This makes me feel that I am the one controlling & I am the one that is wrong here. Yes, he hits me, but he wouldn’t if I would just back off at these hot points & give him space for a time-out to chill. How many women out there think they are the ones that push those buttons with their mouths & in turn get shut up with a fist?? Who is wrong here? Basically I know I need to remove myself from this relationship but somehow can’t. This where I think it’s an addiction or obsession problem. Or am I just chasing my tail here trying to justify or explain away stuff??

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-2/#comment-1955 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Sun, 14 Feb 2010 15:40:20 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1955 Dear Elle, Do you think the phrase "because they deserve it" means the abused woman is somehow worthless or bad or deserving of abuse? There's a different way to look at it. She "deserves it" because she STAYS in the relationship and lets herself continue to be abused. So maybe "deserving it" is less about who she is as a woman, and more about her choice to stay with a man who is physically or mentally abusing her. You're choosing to stay with a man who abuses you. That doesn't mean you're worthless, bad, or dumb. It just means that the the benefits of staying in this relationship outweigh the benefits of leaving. You're getting something out of this relationship. I encourage you to start telling people that he's abusing you. Tell your friends. Tell your family. I know how hard this is, but it's your first step towards health, healing, and happiness. You don't have to tell everyone...just tell a couple of your closest loved ones. What do you think? Blessings, Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/QuipsTipsAchievingGoals/~3/j52vZbh_QDU/" rel="nofollow">7 People Skills That Help You Achieve Your Career Goals</a> =-. Dear Elle,

Do you think the phrase “because they deserve it” means the abused woman is somehow worthless or bad or deserving of abuse? There’s a different way to look at it. She “deserves it” because she STAYS in the relationship and lets herself continue to be abused. So maybe “deserving it” is less about who she is as a woman, and more about her choice to stay with a man who is physically or mentally abusing her.

You’re choosing to stay with a man who abuses you. That doesn’t mean you’re worthless, bad, or dumb. It just means that the the benefits of staying in this relationship outweigh the benefits of leaving. You’re getting something out of this relationship.

I encourage you to start telling people that he’s abusing you. Tell your friends. Tell your family. I know how hard this is, but it’s your first step towards health, healing, and happiness. You don’t have to tell everyone…just tell a couple of your closest loved ones.

What do you think?

Blessings,
Laurie
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..7 People Skills That Help You Achieve Your Career Goals My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-1/#comment-1952 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:46:58 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1952 Dear Aries, I think the fear of being alone is what makes many women stay in abusive relationships! And, the ironic thing is that being alone can be a source of happiness, empowerment, freedom, independence, and self-confidence. You don't have to already be a happy, free, strong, self-confident woman to leave a relationship and be alone -- because it's being alone that leads to those characteristics of strength and courage! Those strong independent women who are alone, or who aren't afraid of being alone, know that they'll be fine and even happy alone. They have that knowledge and confidence because they've been alone. The only way to overcome the fear of being alone is to actually be alone. But remember -- you are never REALLY alone! You need to surround yourself with friends, supportive family members, strong women, and community resources. You need to build a support system that will help you through thick and thin -- and you need to find other women (and men) who you can support and help. That interdependence will give you courage and strength. I hope you call a women's help line or distress line in your area, and learn about the different types of support for women there are. And, I encourage you to keep thinking about the possibility of living a strong, successful, happy life away from this abusive man and his family. Keep reading articles and books about being successful and living a full, happy life. The more you read about strong women, the more inspired you'll be....and that's what See Jane Soar is all about! I wish you all the best, and hope you find your inner strength. It's there...you just need to tap into it. Blessings, Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/QuipsTipsAchievingGoals/~3/j52vZbh_QDU/" rel="nofollow">7 People Skills That Help You Achieve Your Career Goals</a> =-. Dear Aries,

I think the fear of being alone is what makes many women stay in abusive relationships! And, the ironic thing is that being alone can be a source of happiness, empowerment, freedom, independence, and self-confidence.

You don’t have to already be a happy, free, strong, self-confident woman to leave a relationship and be alone — because it’s being alone that leads to those characteristics of strength and courage! Those strong independent women who are alone, or who aren’t afraid of being alone, know that they’ll be fine and even happy alone. They have that knowledge and confidence because they’ve been alone.

The only way to overcome the fear of being alone is to actually be alone. But remember — you are never REALLY alone! You need to surround yourself with friends, supportive family members, strong women, and community resources. You need to build a support system that will help you through thick and thin — and you need to find other women (and men) who you can support and help. That interdependence will give you courage and strength.

I hope you call a women’s help line or distress line in your area, and learn about the different types of support for women there are. And, I encourage you to keep thinking about the possibility of living a strong, successful, happy life away from this abusive man and his family.

Keep reading articles and books about being successful and living a full, happy life. The more you read about strong women, the more inspired you’ll be….and that’s what See Jane Soar is all about!

I wish you all the best, and hope you find your inner strength. It’s there…you just need to tap into it.

Blessings,
Laurie
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..7 People Skills That Help You Achieve Your Career Goals My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Elle Shepherd http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-1/#comment-1934 Elle Shepherd Fri, 12 Feb 2010 21:34:35 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1934 I am in a physically abusive relationship. I'm so embarassed that I am not strong enough to leave for good. I have phoned the police in the past & he moved out for a while, but I let him back into my life & this chips away at my self esteem. My parents had a good relationship....very traditional roles, but my father had alot of respect for my mother & there was no abuse.....but, I have heard he say countless times, "do you know why women get beat? cause they deserve it.". This statement comes back to haunt me each time I'm abused. I deserve it, I must deserve it. Rationally thinking...of course I know this is not right & I don't deserve it, but there is a part of my subconsience that reasons that I must. I have a black eye right now & my face is swollen & red. But, he is sorry & I feel stupid for overreacting to certain situations & why didn't I do "this" or say "that"....that insane logic rushes through my mind. I am not married to this guy...I don't have children with him....I own my home & successful business....I have no debt to speak of....I'm confident & not scared of being alone....I have amazing friends (who know nothing of this). I feel that I am not in love with this man, but addicted or obsessed somehow. I have this feeling that I will be dead one day....that he will snap & kill me & it will be fault....it always is. I am in a physically abusive relationship. I’m so embarassed that I am not strong enough to leave for good. I have phoned the police in the past & he moved out for a while, but I let him back into my life & this chips away at my self esteem. My parents had a good relationship….very traditional roles, but my father had alot of respect for my mother & there was no abuse…..but, I have heard he say countless times, “do you know why women get beat? cause they deserve it.”. This statement comes back to haunt me each time I’m abused. I deserve it, I must deserve it. Rationally thinking…of course I know this is not right & I don’t deserve it, but there is a part of my subconsience that reasons that I must. I have a black eye right now & my face is swollen & red. But, he is sorry & I feel stupid for overreacting to certain situations & why didn’t I do “this” or say “that”….that insane logic rushes through my mind. I am not married to this guy…I don’t have children with him….I own my home & successful business….I have no debt to speak of….I’m confident & not scared of being alone….I have amazing friends (who know nothing of this). I feel that I am not in love with this man, but addicted or obsessed somehow. I have this feeling that I will be dead one day….that he will snap & kill me & it will be fault….it always is.

]]> By: Aries http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-1/#comment-1925 Aries Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:30:42 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1925 Hi, Wow, I am blown away by the beauty, honesty and love on this site. I bottle my emotions terribly and I've been crying whilst reading all these stories and for the first time in my life I let myself cry and feel. I'm really scared. I had a terrible childhood, an emotionally abusive mentally ill mother who had an eating disorder and abused medication and was cruel, overcontrolling and ripped down any self-esteem I tried to build for myself. My father was weak and placated my mother constantly - he is also a selfish man and once he divorced my mother to get my brother and I away from her but then went back less than a year later and remarried her. I attended college during this time and lived at home, the control got worse and I was forbidden to get a job and that left me tethered to this horrible home. I felt I had no options, kind of like how I feel now. I met a man a year older whilst studying, he came from a wealthy family and was very attractive, smart and nice. Early in our relationship there was a strong co-dependency and he wanted to change every part of me, he was openly critical of every detail of who I was...and I stayed with him and moved in with him...what was I thinking?? He made sure I was financially dependent on him and I think he tapped into my vast insecurities about money and love. I married him a short time after - that was 9 years ago now and I think he is emotionally abusive, but I'm scared to use that word as it sounds so "strong" and he's nice to me sometimes. He has always belittled me, disrespected me and isolated me from any friends I had. He never buys me any presents and when I was 24 (I am turning 29 soon) he made me get rid of my car because he was "sick of paying for it". He wants me to stay at home and be a housewife to take care of all his needs and I've had some jobs before but he always sabotages them and he gets annoyed if they're full-time and throws tantrums. He is professionally a manager and he zooms in on every little imperfection I have, or any specks of dirt I missed cleaning, and rips me to shreds. It has got a lot worse lately and I have enrolled in study and I am considering planning getting out. Our marriage is one-sided, I do all the work whislt he relies on controlling me via extreme guilt and he always tells me I should be very grateful to him for rescuing me from my family. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 but I think my "mental illness" may be less wrong with me and more wrong with the circumstances of my life, I feel worthless, miserable and I don't feel "allowed" to do anything. Last night something inside my head snapped - I have chronic pain due to an operation in 2009 to remove cervical cancer and he's been horrid lately and our sex life has suffered due to my illness, although it's always been a pleasureless transaction on his terms only, but he manipulated me into having sex with him and was very rough and disrespectful, more so than usual. He's never been violent before, he's more verbally abusive, interrupting me all the time and saying "I don't care" or making me feel very guilty because he earns all the money and therefore owns our house and all our belongings. If I were to leave I would be completely alone - my family don't care about me and have went upstate and made it clear they want nothing to do with me other than to occasionally abuse me via phone, my very few friends are in no position to help with accommodation or cash loans or otherwise and I have no-one to speak to or help. He controls finances and everything so much he would notice if I "wasted his money" and went to a counseller or anyone like that. He says I don't need to see someone because I have him and that it would be a waste of money and that's his attitude, anything for me is a complete waste of money. I feel terribly alone and trapped. I've just begun online study and he will "let" me look for work when we get back from a holiday with his family - we only ever holiday wih his family, who are very snobby and mean towards me - and I have a tentative plan of getting together a secret savings account and other things like a secret email account (he has access to mine.) His family are another issue all together - he is very close to them and I have to come when he visits and they make it obvious they think I'm "white trash" and sub-human and openly make comments as such. When I say something later, he blames it on me and says I'm disrespectful for talking about his family that way. LOL, Sarah's advice of deleting the internet browser's history make me smile through my tears, it's like she knows my husband...I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with the immense guilt of this situation. I feel I owe him my life...and I get the feeling he is abusive emotionally and escalating, the good times are becoming scarcer. I'm very sorry for this epic life story!! I want to thank all the courageous and wonderful women on this site, you have made me realise that perhaps I can have a happy, independent life one day. I am just so confused and conflicted...I'm scared of how he will react if I do leave...I don't want anything material from the relationship, I don't even want any money from our house or anything else...I'm so frightened of being alone... Hi,
Wow, I am blown away by the beauty, honesty and love on this site. I bottle my emotions terribly and I’ve been crying whilst reading all these stories and for the first time in my life I let myself cry and feel. I’m really scared.
I had a terrible childhood, an emotionally abusive mentally ill mother who had an eating disorder and abused medication and was cruel, overcontrolling and ripped down any self-esteem I tried to build for myself. My father was weak and placated my mother constantly – he is also a selfish man and once he divorced my mother to get my brother and I away from her but then went back less than a year later and remarried her. I attended college during this time and lived at home, the control got worse and I was forbidden to get a job and that left me tethered to this horrible home. I felt I had no options, kind of like how I feel now. I met a man a year older whilst studying, he came from a wealthy family and was very attractive, smart and nice. Early in our relationship there was a strong co-dependency and he wanted to change every part of me, he was openly critical of every detail of who I was…and I stayed with him and moved in with him…what was I thinking??
He made sure I was financially dependent on him and I think he tapped into my vast insecurities about money and love. I married him a short time after – that was 9 years ago now and I think he is emotionally abusive, but I’m scared to use that word as it sounds so “strong” and he’s nice to me sometimes. He has always belittled me, disrespected me and isolated me from any friends I had. He never buys me any presents and when I was 24 (I am turning 29 soon) he made me get rid of my car because he was “sick of paying for it”. He wants me to stay at home and be a housewife to take care of all his needs and I’ve had some jobs before but he always sabotages them and he gets annoyed if they’re full-time and throws tantrums. He is professionally a manager and he zooms in on every little imperfection I have, or any specks of dirt I missed cleaning, and rips me to shreds.
It has got a lot worse lately and I have enrolled in study and I am considering planning getting out. Our marriage is one-sided, I do all the work whislt he relies on controlling me via extreme guilt and he always tells me I should be very grateful to him for rescuing me from my family.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 but I think my “mental illness” may be less wrong with me and more wrong with the circumstances of my life, I feel worthless, miserable and I don’t feel “allowed” to do anything. Last night something inside my head snapped – I have chronic pain due to an operation in 2009 to remove cervical cancer and he’s been horrid lately and our sex life has suffered due to my illness, although it’s always been a pleasureless transaction on his terms only, but he manipulated me into having sex with him and was very rough and disrespectful, more so than usual. He’s never been violent before, he’s more verbally abusive, interrupting me all the time and saying “I don’t care” or making me feel very guilty because he earns all the money and therefore owns our house and all our belongings. If I were to leave I would be completely alone – my family don’t care about me and have went upstate and made it clear they want nothing to do with me other than to occasionally abuse me via phone, my very few friends are in no position to help with accommodation or cash loans or otherwise and I have no-one to speak to or help.
He controls finances and everything so much he would notice if I “wasted his money” and went to a counseller or anyone like that. He says I don’t need to see someone because I have him and that it would be a waste of money and that’s his attitude, anything for me is a complete waste of money. I feel terribly alone and trapped. I’ve just begun online study and he will “let” me look for work when we get back from a holiday with his family – we only ever holiday wih his family, who are very snobby and mean towards me – and I have a tentative plan of getting together a secret savings account and other things like a secret email account (he has access to mine.)
His family are another issue all together – he is very close to them and I have to come when he visits and they make it obvious they think I’m “white trash” and sub-human and openly make comments as such. When I say something later, he blames it on me and says I’m disrespectful for talking about his family that way.
LOL, Sarah’s advice of deleting the internet browser’s history make me smile through my tears, it’s like she knows my husband…I’m having a lot of trouble dealing with the immense guilt of this situation. I feel I owe him my life…and I get the feeling he is abusive emotionally and escalating, the good times are becoming scarcer. I’m very sorry for this epic life story!! I want to thank all the courageous and wonderful women on this site, you have made me realise that perhaps I can have a happy, independent life one day. I am just so confused and conflicted…I’m scared of how he will react if I do leave…I don’t want anything material from the relationship, I don’t even want any money from our house or anything else…I’m so frightened of being alone…

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/how-do-you-leave-a-mentally-abusive-relationship-elizabeth-gilbert/comment-page-1/#comment-1751 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 29 Jan 2010 02:29:53 +0000 http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/?p=554#comment-1751 Sharon, Thanks for your advice -- I hope women in abusive relationships listen to you, and get out as fast as possible. Blessings, Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/QuipsTipsAchievingGoals/~3/iTb1VOkDN4E/" rel="nofollow">How to Make Conversation for Introverts – Tips for Small Talk</a> =-. Sharon,

Thanks for your advice — I hope women in abusive relationships listen to you, and get out as fast as possible.

Blessings,
Laurie
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..How to Make Conversation for Introverts – Tips for Small Talk My ComLuv Profile

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