First, the bad news:
“Opposites may attract, but I wouldn’t put my money on a relationship of financial opposites,” says Suze Orman.
But don’t fret, my friend! Just because Orman wouldn’t bet her money on a couple with two different money personalities doesn’t mean that couple is headed for relationship breakdown or serious financial problems.
Here are several ways to deal with different money personalities as a couple. For more detailed info, click on click on Financially Ever After: The Couples’ Guide to Managing Money by Jeff Opdyke.
Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman
The two basic money personalities are savers and spenders. If you’re a saver married to a spender – or a spender married to a saver – you’ll run into different relationship challenges than two spenders, or two savers.
Know your FICO score. “If you forced me to pick one single bit of advice that would have the biggest impact on turning around your financial situation, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second,” writes Orman in The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke. “You have to know your FICO score.” Before you tackle your “saver versus spender” money personalities, learn about your credit score. Do you need to do some damage repair?
Separate your finances. Consider having two separate income streams and bank accounts. This way, if you’re a saver you can invest your money any way you want. If your partner is a spender, he can spend his earnings any way he wants. You can divide the household bills and other sources of debt, and pay for those equally but separately.
Learn how to talk about money objectively. Whether you’re deciding how to invest a $10,000 windfall or struggling to pay off medical debt – you need to talk about your financial problems or perks rationally. This means accepting your different money personalities without blame, resentment, or bitterness. For help, read Tips for Talking About Money for Couples from a financial expert.
Talk about your money personalities before marriage. “After you marry, every asset either of you acquires is jointly held,” says Suze Orman. “That’s why you both need to be in sync on your long-term financial goals, from paying off the mortgage to putting away for retirement. Ideally, you should talk about all this before you wed. If you don’t, you can end up deeply frustrated and financially spent.”
Consult a financial planner. Dealing with different money personalities as a couple can get difficult – and those difficulties can affect other parts of your relationship. To solve your financial problems, consider talking to a financial planner who can help you see the big picture. He/she can help you set your general financial goals (eg, retirement planning), as well as determine the details that will help you achieve those goals (eg, a monthly budget).
“In all realms of life it takes courage to stretch your limits, express your power, and fulfill your potential,” says Suze Orman. “It’s no different in the financial realm.”
Are you a saver — and is your partner a spender? How do you deal with it? If you have any comments or questions on these tips for dealing with different money personalities as a couple, you’re welcome below….
For more inspiration from Suze Orman, read How to Successfully Change Careers!
Do you feel anxious or worried -- are your fears about work, family, relationships, or life in general holding you back? Consider trying a natural way to end feelings of anxiety and panic.
I’m a savor and Richard is a spender. What happens is that I try to over compensate for him and I become a hoarder (scarity thinking which isn’t good) and he then overspends. This gets particularly tricky with us because we are both self-employed so don’t always know how much money is coming in each month. This has led to serious money problems in the past.
What we’ve done to improve this situation is to create a budget so we know our monthly bottom line expenses. I’ve taken over responsibility for paying the bills so we each contribute what we need to a joint account for this. We also have money boxes that we put money in as we can – one is for play, one for travel, one for giving to charity, one for household big projects and one called financial freedom (long term savings). As the money acrues in the savings boxes we then create GIC’s etc from them. With the others, we get to spend from them each month if we like.
This way we are saving and spending at the same time. I make sure Richard actually puts some money into the boxes so he knows what it feels like to save instead of spend right away.
Gini Grey´s last blog post..Courage
You’re so organized with your budget and money, Gini!
Your comment has given me a great idea for an article, about how to organize your money for couples….have you ever written about the law of attraction and money? And, post the link here if you write an article about organizing your money for couples for Suite or Orato. You have lots of first-hand experience! Being self-employed and having different money personalities puts you in a valuable teaching position, my friend.
My hubby and I are both savers, so our money personalities are very compatible. He reads alot about investing, and I’m happy to just slap the savings into a money market fund or low-risk mutual fund.
I couldn’t be married to a spender…I’m too scared to be poor! I do spend money on vacations, though. And eating out once a week. My two “big spender” habits
Laurie
Laurie PK´s last blog post..Dealing With Different Money Personalities as a Couple – Suze Orman
I’ve written about abundance from a law of attraction view point and I recently wrote an article about money and beliefs on Suite – here’s the link to that: Creating Financial Success With Positive Beliefs
But I haven’t written specifically about law of attraction and money or couples and money so I think I will. Thanks for pointing out that I have a valuable teaching position on that – I hadn’t noticed before.
I’ll post a link here once I’ve written them (have a couple of other topics perculating right now though).
Gini
Gini Grey´s last blog post..Courage
Hi Laurie,
I just posted two money articles for couples on Suite. One’s about identify the source of money problems and the other is on financial management. Here are the links:
Couples With Money Problems
Financial Management for Couples
Gini Grey´s last blog post..Courage
Those are fantastic articles, Gini! I left comments on both…
I have to say, I’m so impressed with how you wrote those money articles. I feel like I can SEE your writing skills improve with every article you write. I guess practice really does make perfect
Keep up the good work!
Laurie
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post..Solving Tax Problems Early – 9 Strategies for Income Taxes
Thanks, Laurie. Reading your Quips and Tips for Successful Writers blog has helped me to focus on my writing style – plus the practice definitely does help.
I enjoyed your article about finances and anxiety on Suite and added a comment to it. I really do think that beliefs and attitude play a huge role in handling money.
Gini
Gini Grey´s last blog post..Courage
Hi,
My husband and I have totally different money personalities! He’s the saver and I’m the spender. We didn’t talk about our money personalities before we got married but seem to be able to work it out. What really worked for my husband is to realize that we do have enough money, that we won’t run out. That’s why he likes to save, because he grew up with a Depression mentality.
It can take years to become financially compatible, and effort as well. But if you keep working on your money habits, you can have a really happy marriage together. Even if you’re savers and spenders.
Joan R.