Comments on: Coping With Toxic Female Friendships – Joan Baez

By: Laurie PK

Laurie PK — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:40:19 +0000

I also think that women are more affected by their hormones than men! I know I’m more sensitive, prone to being offended, and irritable when I’m PMSing (and this week, I’m coping with both PMS and a husband who’s been away for work for 6 weeks — so I’m a little edgier than usual. I know it, I can feel it, and it colors how I interact with others).

And, some men are simply oblivious to real or perceived slights. Some women tend to jump on slights and milk them for all they’re worth! Of course, they may be toxic females to begin with and that taints the friendship…or, they’re PMSing…

Thanks for taking the time to comment, John and Gini!
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By: Gini Grey

Gini Grey — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:05:20 +0000

I know of one reason girls fight more than guys in their friendships. It’s because females bond more closely on an emotional level and they match each other’s energy and therefore get enmeshed more easily. Men tend to have more emotional distance and stronger boundaries between each other.

Women friends and couples enmesh easily if not conscious of it. To unemesh, friends (or couples) tend to create a fight so they can go in the opposite direction (isolation)for awhile. It’s an uncomfortable dichotomy, but as people become conscious of it, they can transcend it by tuning into their wholeness.

When people discover they are whole, and enough on their own, they don’t need to play the enmeshment/isolation game, but can have healthy boundaries and more peace in relationships.
Gini Grey´s last blog post..Faith

By: John

John — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:05:20 +0000

Found your site while researching for my girlfriend, who keeps fighting with her best friend. Then they make up for a couple months, then they’re at each other’s throats again. I don’t get why girls fight and have these “toxic friendships” — guys don’t do that! Why can’t girls just get along like guys do.

By: Laurie PK

Laurie PK — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:32:23 +0000

Thanks, Peter! I’m a full-time freelance writer and blogger…so spend all day practicing my writing skills

And Fiona, thanks for your comment. If you have any questions about toxic female friendships, please feel free to ask.

Laurie
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By: Peter

Peter — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:33:12 +0000

Are you a professional journalist? You write very well.

By: Fiona

Fiona — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 02:23:58 +0000

This is a great post, thanks for writing it!

By: Laurie PK

Laurie PK — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 02:03:47 +0000

All right, I wrote the article called “Are You a Toxic Female Friend?” — and was thinking of you, Gini! NOT that you are a toxic female friend…but I was thinking of your perspective on the “energy vampire” bit.

You know how some people drain you, and others fill you up? Well, friends who drain you are definitely toxic…
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By: Gini Grey

Gini Grey — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 20:55:18 +0000

That’s a great article idea Laurie – I’d love to see an article about identifying the traits of being a toxic friend (then it could be passed on to toxic friends – ha ha).
Gini Grey´s last blog post..Boundaries

By: Laurie PK

Laurie PK — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 15:25:13 +0000

Sandra, that’s such a great solution for a toxic female friendship (occasional emails but not full-fledged contact). I’ve found Facebook to be a good way to be in touch with people I don’t necessarily want to spend alot of “in person” time with.

Gini, I too had someone end a friendship with me! We were so different and our relationship was a real struggle…but it never occurred to me to let her go. She found the strength to do that, and it’s a good thing.

Thanks for being here, you two

I think it’s more important that we be careful about who we spend time with as we get older. Time seems more limited now than it did when we were in school…there’s too much to accomplish and do — no time to spend with friends who are negative, critical, draining, or toxic!

Maybe my next article should be about knowing if YOU’RE a toxic female friend….would anyone be interested in reading that?

Laurie
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By: Sandra

Sandra — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 12:20:07 +0000

I had to end a toxic online friendship a couple of years ago. The fault was on both our parts as we are both highly emotional, somewhat needy, people. We have gradually got back in touch and now send each other occasional emails and things are fine. I think we both feel better not being so close yet still being in touch.