The life lesson: the most successful women in history are the ones who failed the most. The successful woman: JK Rowling! These five ways to build resiliency are inspired by Rowling’s Commencement Address at Harvard, called “The Fringe Benefits of Failure.” 

First, my favorite quotation about failure from Samuel Beckett:

“Ever tried, ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

To Jane soar, you need to build resiliency and use your failures as springboards to bigger, better things. Read on for five ways to build resiliency, inspired by JK Rowling. And, click on John Maxwell’s Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into Stepping Stones for Success for more in-depth info on rising like a phoenix from the ashes!

5 Ways to Build Resiliency – JK Rowling

“Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged,” said Rowling at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association. “I was set free [by failure], because my greatest fear had already been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

Building resiliency and overcoming failure is the biggest predictor of success at work, home, and in life in general.

1. Rebuild yourself. Failure isn’t a fatal flaw that renders you helpless and unhappy. It’s not a permanent condition. It doesn’t make you less worthy, less intelligent, or less capable. Failure isn’t who you are. It’s simply an event. How you cope with it – not the failure itself – is what determines your future as a successful woman. To build resiliency, accept that you’ll often be rebuilding your self, your business, your life.

2. Stop and think. Figure out exactly what caused the failure: Did the location of your business lead you to bankruptcy? Were you fired because you weren’t focused? Be honest and specific. To build resiliency, accept your mistakes and take responsibility.

3. Regain control. Once you know what went wrong, don’t make the same mistakes. You’re not doomed to repeat history unless you’re unaware of it! Ask yourself what you did right with your kids, your partner, your work, and savor your successes. To build resilience, take back control. 

4. Connect. To build resiliency, talk to successful women who survived similar situations. Find out what worked. What would they do differently? Compare stories. The more you hide the worse you’ll feel; be honest about your mistakes and regrets.

5. Adjust your perspective. “I actually consider my failure to become a feature film director as the beginning of what I consider a saner and more successful life,” says award-winning Bert Salzman. To build resiliency, adjust your perspective of what being a successful woman means. 

“The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive,” said Rowling. “You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.”

What do you think of these ways to build resiliency? I welcome your comments below!

Dear Readers, thank you for your comments and questions! I read them all -- but I can't offer in-depth marriage, relationship, or family advice. ~ Laurie








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